Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My vagina just clenched in fear
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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