I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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