but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
