Ambien. No doubt about it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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