She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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