the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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