Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
