I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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