at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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