Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
