Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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