And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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