The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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