So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
