walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
