i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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