respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
