i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
