How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
