you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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