just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
