your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
