she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
