Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
