I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
