I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
