I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
