Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
