you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
