her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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