I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Found the puke drawer
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize