My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we're so committed to being not committed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
