Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
