Pregnant stripper...not hot.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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