idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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