Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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