How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
