He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
