Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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