Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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