Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
