What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
