dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
