I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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