Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
