why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
