i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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