Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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