God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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