I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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