I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize