I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
