I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
