can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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