worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
