Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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