I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
