I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
